We live here, there and beyond.

An anthropologist friend of mine who I respect a great deal said that "The problem with trying to understand my nature [my consciousness, self, or personal identity] by going all the way down to the molecular level, is that I don't live on that level. I live on the level of medium-sized bodies. That's the world I inhabit." Always the pragmatic (and he brings up a valid point too), but this is my reasoning: If anything, this is but a matter of perception and of course awareness.


I don't think we can categorically state that we don't live in the molecular level anymore than we can assert that we don't live in our hearts, or bodies or even brains. It is clear that we "live" in all those levels as well, but it is also evident that limiting our core "essence" to them is somewhat of a quandary because these components are in a state of constant change, regeneration, impermanence, and yet our very core, our identity remains.

This, to me, is remarkable evidence that whatever it is that constitutes our innermost essence exists beyond what we can be readily aware of. We are not aware of all those things because it would be too much to handle. It is a way to keep us sane. Can you imagine the information that we would have to process if we were aware of the cells that constitute every single hair we have? Or our skin? Yet, these too are all part of what we presently "are," but again, they do not constitute our very essence.

I am not suggesting that what goes on in the molecular level and beyond is more or less important than what we are conscious of, but I do think that as an elemental part of our "self" it is important that we become "aware" of it. Maybe, and just maybe, this is some form of Enlightenment. Who knows? One with the universe? Why not? It all comes from the same point somewhere back in time and all that is really happening is that everything is transforming and manifesting in different forms.

What would happen, for instance, if you lost all your memories? Imagine every single thought, experience, idea and memory you ever had was completely wiped away from your brain. Everything. Would you still be you? – And just to be annoying- would your essence still be the same?

I think an important part of our identity comes from our experiences, but how can we deny a "self" that is by all means real, independently of what we see, hear and even live? This "Self" may be different than the one we are aware of in our everyday as we go about life, but does that makes it any less real just because we are not fully conscious of it at all times?

I think it is a mistake to disregard this part of our identity. I think this "self" is essential (pun intended) in understanding our presence and place in this universe. This is, if you ask me, a very natural approach. I see this as a method that integrates all the different elements of the being, material and non-material, because after all we are also energy… but this is a whole other subject in it of itself.

♠ ♠ ♠ 

I am

I am essence.

I am in the unfolding present.

I am a life experience in this world.

I am a physical manifestation of a deeper truth.

I am the idea of a human being that's moving in time and that will cease to exist as such at some point and transform into something else.

I am.

Mr. Intensity

This is Dante, my son. Quite a looker, if I do say so myself. He has been an amazing gift and responsibility at the same time. He is 20 months old now, and getting in all kinds of trouble. As I write this he's running all over the living room and hopping on the couch. I thought it would be a good idea to post a pic of him as I'm bound to mention him plenty of times in future blogs. So here he is:

Bye bye 2010

Adieu 2010. I can't say I'm gonna miss you. We had our ups and downs but all-in-all I'm glad you are over. We did a lot of things throughout the months beginning with a participation in Event #1 of the LAPC at the Commerce. A♠J♥ losing to 2♦4♠ ended that adventure before the dinner break.

But I'm not bitter.

I had fun and pulled an all-nighter playing cash to win some of my buy-in back and Tania and Dante had a good time in the VIP lounge anyway.

Vegas during WSOP was fun and it gave me an opportunity to hang out with my fans from the Royal Bunker. Really cool peeps, and I have a feeling our friendship will last for a good while.

The America's Cup was a REALLY close call. Two final tables, a first and a third place almost take me to Iguazu falls in South America. That would've been sweet and I had it at the click of my mouse... if only I hadn't shoved with A♣7♥ when 3-handed.

WCOOP was a big tease. Battling over 20 thousand or so players to win a seat in the main event and getting my aces cracked by jacks in the last round was particularly cruel. Touché. Really.

And then of course my participation in the RB WSOP League... *sight* I guess finishing in the upper part of the bunch has its merits, right? Right?

And of course there were countless hours at the local casinos, home games, mtt's, cash sessions, blah, blah, blah...

Whattayear.

BUT it could be a lot worst. I could've NOT been a contender at all. I could have finished at the bottom all over the place and not writing about all these amazing opportunities that were within a few moves or percentage points from swinging my way!

I KNOW there are many details I have to work on about my game. But I got really close this year. I have to remember that this was only the first year I play poker and that there are many aspects that need to complement the act of playing itself. And that's what I'm going to be working on moving forward.

So here's looking ahead and excited about the world of possibilities. I'm already working in the different areas that need focus. I am studying the game and MY game to find my leaks. I am working out and eating healthier. I am finding a balance between all the things that are important in my life: my beautiful wife, my amazing son, family, friends, following my dreams and having fun along the way!

So thank you 2010. You gave me a lot to be thankful for and a lot more to work on. You gave me the opportunity to meet hundreds of wonderful people and helped me grow as a person all-around. So, maybe I am going to miss you 2010... a little.